- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: You're a good-looking girl. You'd make somebody a good wife.
- Gertrude Linkmeyer: I would like to get married again if the right man came along.
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Even if the wrong man comes along, you'd better grab him. Beggars can't be choosers, you know.
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink and my sister were practically engaged.
- Major Hochstetter: Oh. That would be reasonable motivation for suicide.
- Sgt. Schultz: I think he wants to talk to you about his new secretary.
- LeBeau: He has a new secretary?
- Sgt. Schultz: General Burkhalter got her.
- Col. Hogan: What does she look like, Schultz?
- Sgt. Schultz: General Burkhalter. It's his sister.
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: The late general and I were classmates.
- Col. Klink: What did he die of, sir?
- Hugo Hindmann: A sudden transfer to the Russian front.
- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: There's a lot of that going around now.