Hogan's Heroes (TV Series)
German Bridge Is Falling Down (1965)
Bob Crane: Col. Hogan
Photos
Quotes
-
Col. Robert E. Hogan : [about his men] Eh, they keep saying there's a lot of human being left in Colonel Klink.
Colonel Klink : Hm! Those fools.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : I told 'em they were wrong.
-
Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe : Look, I know that arrow was pointed in the right direction! I took a bearing from the roof of Klink's office.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Doesn't matter, Kinch. The Adolf Hitler Bridge is still in business.
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Yeah, and Klink's happy - nasty happy.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Let's make him unhappy - nasty unhappy. Let's knock out that bridge.
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Huh?
LeBeau : What?
Cpl. Peter Newkirk : You're kidding. I mean, how do we get there?
Col. Robert E. Hogan : We'll worry about that later. What kind of explosives we got, Carter?
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Three firecrackers and a can of lighter fluid.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Firecrackers?
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Well, sure. You remember. When we told Klink that LeBeau was part Chinese. We had to have firecrackers to celebrate Chinese New Year.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Yeah.
LeBeau : And I cooked that whole pot of chow mein with sauerkraut.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Please, not while I'm plotting.
[turns to Carter]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : You got anything to make explosives?
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Well, the easiest thing would be some kind of gas. We could get a detonator and a timer. Maybe chlorine gas.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : What do you need?
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Ammonia would do it. Mixed with bleach if we had any.
Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe : Hey, the krauts keep a lot of that stuff in the kitchen for cleanup.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Newkirk, go find Schultz. Volunteer for kitchen detail.
Cpl. Peter Newkirk : Yes, Colonel.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Kinch, you go with Carter. Help him set up his bomb factory in Tunnel Number 3. Give him anything he needs.
Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe : Right.
LeBeau : What-what about me, Colonel? What do I do?
Col. Robert E. Hogan : LeBeau, my boy, I'm holding you in reserve to make chow mein.
LeBeau : What?
Col. Robert E. Hogan : If Carter's bombs don't do it, we may have to poison that bridge.
-
[a huge explosion rocks the tunnel]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Carter? Carter? Are you OK?
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Oh, yeah. Yeah. Boy, that stuff's really unstable!
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Yeah.
Sgt. Andrew Carter : You've got to get that mixture just right.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Yeah, I know, I know.
Sgt. Andrew Carter : You gotta expect a few little explosions.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Oh, sure, sure.
Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe : Oh, boy, you keep that up, Klink'll be down here in a minute, and there goes the ball game!
Col. Robert E. Hogan : I think I have an idea how to explain the noise. Carter, keep working... uh, you do have insurance?
-
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Temper, TEMPER, Colonel. Your men can paint out those words in a couple hours.
Colonel Klink : MY men? YOUR men! They will paint this entire building at once, THEN we'll talk about punishment. Schultz!
Schultz : Jawohl, Herr Kommendant.
Colonel Klink : Issue paints and brushes to these assassins at once.
Schultz : Jawohl, Herr Kommendant!
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Now, wait a minute, Colonel, I protest! Prisoners of war are not required to do this kind of work.
[to Schultz]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : We'll need a tarp, a big one.
[back to Klink]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : And besides that, it's against all the rules of civilized warfare!
[to Schultz]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Need a couple ladders, tall.
Schultz : Jawohl!
Col. Robert E. Hogan : [back to Klink] Not only...
Colonel Klink : [stamping his foot twice] Another word out of you, Hogan, and your men will be painting this building for the entire war - in chains!
-
Col. Robert E. Hogan : [Carter's attempts to manufacture explosives destroys one of the tunnels] We still gotta figure a way to make more ammunition.
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Well, I'm still willing to try, Colonel.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Whose side are you on?
Cpl. Peter Newkirk : [referring to some shell casings he stole from Schultz] If we have about 500 of these, they'd make a lovely bomb.
[hands Colonel Hogan a shell casing]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Hey, Newkirk, where'd you get these?
Cpl. Peter Newkirk : Schultz's cartridge case. I pinched them off while I was giving him that old jolly up.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Why not?
Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe : Why not what, Colonel?
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Blow up the Adolf Hitler Bridge with their own ammunition. It's a nice touch.
[gives Newkirk the shell casing back]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Here.
[pulls down a map of the underground tunnels beneath their barracks]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : All right, fellas, look here. This is where the krauts keep their ammunition in the ammunition room, right? Now, we dig a right angle turn in Tunnel Number 3, and we surface in the middle of all that beautiful gunpowder.
Cpl. Peter Newkirk : It's marvelous.
LeBeau : That's great.
Sgt. Andrew Carter : Wait a minute. Hold it, fellas. Before you get too happy, I got some bad news. That last explosion collapsed about 50 feet of Tunnel 3.
Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe : Oh, that's the clincher. The way the krauts are watching us, it'll take us a month to clear that 50 feet.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Newkirk, can you pick a lock?
Cpl. Peter Newkirk : I find that question, sir, 'ighly insulting.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Sorry, old bean, I should have known. Gentlemen, I think we're in business. LeBeau, we can use all the paint you have leftover from that sign job and a couple of paintbrushes, too.
LeBeau : Okay, what for?
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Tonight, we're going to paint Klink into a corner.
-
[last lines]
[Hogan's men react angrily when he volunteers them to help rebuild the Adolf Hitler Bridge in exchange for Klink's promise to reopen the recreation hall]
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Shhh. All right, all right. We're gonna rebuild the bridge with a very special feature.
Cpl. Peter Newkirk : What you mean by that?
Col. Robert E. Hogan : It's gonna be the only bridge in the world with a built-in bomb.
-
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Come on, Colonel. You close the recreation hall, you're gonna deprive us of our Tommy Dorsey records. That's a cruel, inhuman, sadistic punishment.
-
Colonel Klink : No, no, no, no, no! A pink building on a military establishment, are you mad? If you think I wouldn't turn you over to the Gestapo, you are sadly mistaken.
Col. Robert E. Hogan : Come on, Colonel. It's about time we got a little color in the war. Everything is so drab.
Colonel Klink : PAINT IT AGAIN!
-
Col. Robert E. Hogan : [whispers to Kinch] Water the paint. We need more time.