Hogan's Heroes (TV Series)

The Gestapo Takeover (1970)

John Banner: Sgt. Schultz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Colonel Klink : A record of everything we purchased for our little hotel here, also supplies...

  Major Strauss : Ja, spent a great deal of money on food I see.

  Colonel Klink : Oh, yes, quite a bit. We are STALAG 13, Major. We do not believe in starvation.

  Major Strauss : Oh, so I see.

  [looks at Schultz] 

  Sgt. Schultz : I'm on a diet, Major.

  Colonel Klink : Oh, yes. Sergeant Schultz eats only three meals a day like all the rest of the men.

  Sgt. Schultz : But every meal seems to go right into the next meal. If you know what I mean... sir.

• Major Strauss : [after examing Klink's records]  Very neat. Very efficient.

  Colonel Klink : Now, Major, you have arrived here with a fully armed commando, you inspected the books, you asked questions. What is it you want?

  Major Strauss : Herr Colonel, it's not a question of what I want, it's what I've got.

  Colonel Klink : What have you got?

  Major Strauss : Call the senior prisoner officer in here; this concerns him as well.

  Colonel Klink : Call in Colonel Hogan.

  Sgt. Schultz : Jawol, Herr Kommandant. Colonel Hogan, come in.

  [opens the door and Hogan walks inside] 

  Colonel Klink : Colonel Hogan, Major Strauss, Gestapo.

  Hogan : Major.

  Major Strauss : Colonel Hogan.

  Colonel Klink : Major Strauss has something to say that concerns all of us.

  Hogan : Are you surrendering to me? Should've worn my dress blues.

  Colonel Klink : Insolence!

  Major Strauss : I'm sure that we can change the Colonel's attitude.

  Colonel Klink : We?

  Major Strauss : Yes. From today on, the Gestapo will take over Stalag 13. Prisoners, equipment, and bookkeeping. You and your Sergeant will stay on for a few weeks as advisors. And all Luftwaffe personnel will be transferred. Reassigned.

  Sgt. Schultz : Reassigned? Where?

  Hogan : Let me give you a hint. It's big, cold, east of here, and there are a lot of people named Ivan shooting at you all the time.

  Colonel Klink : Major Strauss, where are your orders, huh? And by whose authority?

  Major Strauss : General Muller, Gestapo.

  Colonel Klink : We'll see about this.

  [picks up the phone] 

  Colonel Klink : Fraulein Hilda, get me General Burkhalter in Berlin, priority call.

  [takes the phone away from his ear and turns back to Major Strauss] 

  Colonel Klink : Besides being head of the Stalag Administration, he also happens to be a personal friend of mine.

  Major Strauss : I'm impressed.

  Colonel Klink : [talks into the phone]  Oh, General Burkhalter, Colonel Klink speaking. Hi Hitler. There's a Major Strauss here attempting to takeover Stalag 13. His men are in the compound, he's been going through our records, and Major Strauss... Yes, Gestapo.

  [line clicks] 

  Colonel Klink : Hello? Hello?

  [hangs up the phone] 

  Colonel Klink : How could a man talk to me for three minutes and say "wrong number"?

  Hogan : There's nothing like a personal friend when you need one.