Home Improvement (TV Series)

'Twas the Night Before Chaos (1994)

Tim Allen: Tim Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jill : Oh, so great to have babies in the house again.

  Tim : There's nothing like a little projectile vomit to brighten up the holidays.

• Jill : Tim, can you come down here? I have to talk to you.

  Tim : Again?

  Jill : Yeah.

  Tim : [Climbs all the way down a ladder]  OK, what did you do now?

  Wilson : Heidey-ho, neighbors.

  Jill : Never mind, I'll talk to Wilson instead.

  Tim : You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna install an escalator.

• Tim : [Talking about his Christmas lights decoration he does every year]  All I miss is a real baby for the manger.

  [Looks at his brother's twins that Jill & Nancy are holding] 

  Nancy : He wouldn't, really?

  Jill : He would but we're not gonna let him.

  Tim : It's not like you don't have one to spare.

• Al : Merry Christmas. You know Christmas always reminds me of my childhood. I used to build a snowman every year. I used a carrot for its nose. Cookies for its eyes. Licorice for its smile.

  Tim : That's a great story, Al. Unfortunately, Al's Mom usually ate the snowman.

  Al : One year, she used the carrot to make coleslaw.

• Jill : Tim, wait a second, I need to talk to you.

  Tim : [pushing a fake camel for his Christmas light display]  Not right now, I gotta go light up a camel.

• Tim : Before you say something, let me say something: don't say something.