Homicide: Life on the Street (TV Series)
All Through the House (1994)
Richard Belzer: Detective John Munch
Quotes
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Det. John Munch : [answering the phone] Ho ho ho homicide.
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Lt. Al Giardello : Never try to hustle a Sicilian.
Det. John Munch : You tried to hustle Gee at hearts?
Det. Tim Bayliss : He plays hearts?
Det. John Munch : The man was a legend back in the day, nobody could beat him. He put one of his kids through college just playing hearts.
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Det. John Munch : [depressed] I hate Christmas because it's a time of year when you're supposed to be happy, and if you're unhappy, you think there's something wrong with you which just makes you even MORE unhappy!
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Fidel McGibney : Why do you wear dark glasses indoors?
Det. John Munch : I have strange eyes.
[looks around sadly at all the cheerful photographs of the McGibney Family on the wall]
Fidel McGibney : I think you're hiding something.
Det. John Munch : Not me... my soul's an open book.
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Det. John Munch : [missing every ball at the batting cage] Nobody can hit a ball going at a million miles an hour.
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Det. John Munch : To get here, I had to run a virtual gauntlet of Christmas cheer. Bargain-hungry shoppers, mewling kids, carols blasting from diabolically hidden loudspeakers.What kept me going was the thought that once I reached my destination - our sacred inner sanctum - I'd find refuge from this yuletide delirium.
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Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : All I'm saying is that you are a pessimist, Munch!
Det. John Munch : A pessimist?
Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : Yeah, you're always seeing the worst in everything! You never see anything good, a moment of redemption! You don't believe in anything!
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Det. John Munch : [upon seeing a dead man dressed in a Santa Claus outfit, lying in the snow, covered in blood] Oh no, Rudolph's gonna be pissed.
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Fidel McGibney : [Fidel cries and hugs Munch] My dad's not a deadbeat drunk!
Det. John Munch : [regretful, knowing that Fidel's dad is gone] I know... I'm sorry.
[hugs Fidel back]
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Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander : The only thing beautiful women ever say to you is, 'excuse me, you're blocking the view!'
Det. John Munch : [annoyed] NOW who's the pessimist?
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Fidel McGibney : My name's Fidel.
Det. John Munch : Like Fidel Castro?
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Det. John Munch : I don't have a weird face! I'm darkly handsome maybe, but not weird...?
[looks in the mirror self-consciously]
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Det. John Munch : [a graphic slasher film is playing on TV] You shouldn't be watching that.
Fidel McGibney : Why not?
Det. John Munch : Because it's disgusting, that's why! I've seen more violence in the past twenty minutes than I've seen in my whole career as a homicide cop!
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Det. John Munch : [excitedly, while throwing snow around] Merry Christmas, happy Hanukah!