The Honeymooners (TV Series)

The $99,000 Answer (1956)

Jay Jackson: Herb Norris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Herb Norris : You know, I have a great deal of respect for bus drivers. It's always amazed me how you fellows who have this tremendous responsibility, and the tremendous number of people that you have to deal with, and the big machine, how you manage to remain so courteous and kind and considerate all the time.

  Ralph Kramden : Yes sir.

  Herb Norris : Well, of course, there are exceptions. For example, the other day, I was standing on Madison Avenue in the rain waiting for a bus, and as this bus driver bore down on me, I signaled for him to stop, and you know, instead of stopping, he went right by, went right through a puddle, and splashed mud all over me?

  Ralph Kramden : Was that you?

  Herb Norris : Mr. Kramden, I hope you win some money tonight, because I have a cleaning bill for you.

• Herb Norris : Now, tell me, sir, what do you do for a living?

  Ralph Kramden : [incredibly nervous; stammers]  I brive a dus.

  Herb Norris : You brive a dus?

  Ralph Kramden : I dus a brive.

  Herb Norris : You dus a brive? Oh, I see, you're a bus driver. It that it?

  [Ralph mumbles] 

  Herb Norris : Well, now, there's nothing to be nervous about Mr. Kramden. Just relax and take it easy, and you'll get along a little better. Now, tell me, sir, are you married?

  Ralph Kramden : Yes.

  Herb Norris : You're married. And what is your wife's name?

  Ralph Kramden : Mrs. Kramden.

  Herb Norris : [audience laughter]  Well, that's fine, now... Her first name, I meant.

  Ralph Kramden : Her? Who? Oh, her! Er, Alice.

• Herb Norris : Tell me, have you discussed this at home? Have you talked it over with your wife?

  Ralph Kramden : Yes I did, and regardless, I am going for the $99,000 answer.