- Dr. Eric Foreman: 10-year-olds do not have heart attacks. It's got to be a mistake.
- Dr. Gregory House: Right. The simplest explanation is she's a 40-year-old lying about her age. Maybe an actress trying to hang on.
- Dr. Gregory House: Who would you fire?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: No one.
- Dr. Gregory House: Not an option.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: If everyone took a paycut and put in a few more hours, we could all stay for the same amount of money.
- Dr. Gregory House: Figures you'd try to come up with a solution where no one gets hurt. The problem is the world doesn't work that way just 'cause you want it to.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Figures you'd stall and refuse to deal with the issue. Problem is, the world doesn't go away just because you want it to.
- Dr. Gregory House: Ever seen an infected pierced scrotum?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Uh... no, but I know a few people to whom I'd like to see it happen.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: It's some kind of game. House's own version of "Punk'd."
- Dr. Allison Cameron: It's not House. It's Vogler. We can't let it get to us, we've got to stick together.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Why?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: What are you suggesting, that we start slashing each other's throats?
- Dr. Robert Chase: I'm suggesting it's a zero-sum game. Your loss is my win. That's not conducive to team play.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Which is what House seems to want. I'm with Cameron. May be a bad strategy, but I don't want to give House the satisfaction.
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm thinking I can convince Vogler it'll be more cost-efficient to keep all of them.
- Dr. James Wilson: Yeah, you should be able to pull that off. Most billionaires aren't very good with numbers.
- Dr. Gregory House: It will be more cost-efficient once I grab Cameron's ass, called Foreman a spade, and Chase... well, I'll grab his ass too.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [after the doctors learn that Jessica has taken weight loss pills] I can't believe she was that desperate.
- Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, I'm sure that if everyone I knew hated me, I couldn't bear to look at me. I wouldn't go so far as to shoplift.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I'm not talking about the shoplifting.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I'm sure she didn't even know they were dangerous. She probably saw them advertised on TV or over the internet.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Right, so I guess it's the media and pharmaceutical companies' fault now? Not the fact that she can't stop shoving food down her throat. No one forced her to get fat.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: No one forced a cancer patient to get cancer.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Give me a break. It's not a disease.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Have you seen the latest research?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Yes, I have. What I haven't seen lately is a kid eating an apple or riding a bike. You Americans can't even compete with the rest of the world in basketball anymore unless, of course, it's the type you play with a remote control on a big screen TV.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Right.
- [gets up and starts to walk off]
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Foreman] Wait! Are you going to let him say that? He insulted our basketball teams!
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I apologize if it looked like we weren't devoting our full attention to your daughter, but I assure you that we...
- Mrs. Simms: Oh, please. Save your pathetic insincerity for your boyfriend.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're wrong. She is in fact pathetically sincere.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Everything in society tells us we have to be thin to be successful.
- Dr. Robert Chase: No, society tells you you have to be thin to be attractive. And guess what, that's what attractive means: that society likes looking at you.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I think we should be telling our kids it's fine as long as they're healthy.
- Dr. Robert Chase: All right. You weigh 90 pounds because it makes you healthier?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Forget it. He's just cranky because he's the one who's going to get the axe.
- Mrs. Lucille Hernandez: I'm not pregnant!
- Dr. Gregory House: Sorry, you don't get to make that call unless you have a stethoscope. Union rules.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Come on. It takes decades to eat your way into a heart attack.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Doesn't take decades to kill yourself. If I was that fat, I'd be pretty tempted to knock back a bottle of pills.
- Dr. Robert Chase: [about Jessica] She's not a baby. She's 10!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: And you figure making her feel like crap would do her a world of good?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Yeah, if it gets her off the couch.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Extremely obese patients can get a fat embolus.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Right, after they get liposuction which she's clearly never had.
- Dr. Robert Chase: How do you know?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Because we have her medical records and because no plastic surgeon in his right mind is going to give a 10-year-old liposuction!
- Dr. Robert Chase: Have you ever met a plastic surgeon who was in their right mind?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [to House] If you're gonna fire someone, go ahead and do it, but don't treat us like lab rats, testing how long it takes us to get us at one another's throats.
- Edward Vogler: [to Cuddy] What's the status on House?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He asked for time to complete performance reviews on everyone in his department.
- Edward Vogler: And you told him no and gave him how long?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: A week. He'll do it.
- [Cameron starts to walk up to Cuddy and Vogler]
- Edward Vogler: Guy's never done what he's told. Don't see why he's going to start now.
- [walks over to talk to Cameron]
- Edward Vogler: Hi! Edward Vogler. Is Dr. House claiming that I'm forcing him to get rid of one of you? I assume his goal is to stir up antagonism toward me.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: And your goal is?
- Edward Vogler: I am forcing him. I'll do whatever I can to ease the transition for whoever he chooses.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: If you're feeling guilty about your decision, there is an easy solution.
- Edward Vogler: I don't feel guilty.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Then why approach me and tell me all this?
- Edward Vogler: I don't feel guilty, that doesn't mean I don't feel bad. I'm rich, but I'm still human.
- Dr. James Wilson: [to Lucille] The ultrasound and biopsy confirmed our worry. The tumor is extremely large. At least 30 pounds.
- Mrs. Lucille Hernandez: Oh, God.
- Dr. Gregory House: It's actually a personal record for this clinic.
- Dr. James Wilson: But it's completely benign. There's no sign of cancer at all. I've already spoken with Dr. Bergin and he's available first thing in the morning.
- Mrs. Lucille Hernandez: For what?
- [House and Wilson look puzzled]
- Dr. James Wilson: For the surgery.
- Mrs. Lucille Hernandez: But if it's not cancer, it can't kill me, right?
- Dr. James Wilson: No.
- Mrs. Lucille Hernandez: I'll have a huge scar! I won't be able to wear a bikini!
- Dr. Gregory House: You wear a bikini now?
- Mrs. Lucille Hernandez: Yeah, you got a problem with that?
- Dr. Gregory House: Nope, but I've never gone swimming with you.
- Mrs. Lucille Hernandez: You are trying to force me to have cosmetic surgery!
- Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, that's exactly why I planted a 30-pound tumor on your ovary.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Chase] Making me look bad is not going to save your job.
- Dr. Robert Chase: You think you're incapable of making a mistake?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You think that I am that weak that I am just going to roll over and take this?
- Dr. Robert Chase: House isn't just going to protect you because you kiss his ass!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [to Vogler about House] I respect him.
- Edward Vogler: What exactly is it you respect? His attitude toward humanity? He thinks we're all idiots and liars. How 'bout his attitude toward you, plays with you like a cat with a ball of string...
- Dr. Eric Foreman: What do you want?
- Edward Vogler: I want to know if you want to keep your job.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: If he chooses to let me go, I can live with that.
- Edward Vogler: That's not an answer.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: You offering to protect me?
- Edward Vogler: Still not an answer.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I want my job.
- Dr. Gregory House: Say the first thing that comes to your head.
- Dr. Robert Chase: [about Jessica] She's fat.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Enough already, okay? We've got it. You hate fat people.
- Dr. Gregory House: [shouting out the door of his office to Cameron and Chase] Hey! Stop worrying about your asses and start worrying about the patient.