- Rebecca Adler: I just want to die with a little dignity.
- Dr. Gregory House: There's no such thing! Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it! I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass... it's always ugly - ALWAYS! You can live with dignity; we can't die with it!
- Dr. Gregory House: Gorgeous women do *not* go to medical school... unless, they're as damaged as they are beautiful.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job. The clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.
- Dr. Gregory House: But as the philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want".
- Dr. Gregory House: [Dr. House is seeing a patient whose skin is orange, seeking treatment for back pain] Unfortunately, you have a deeper problem. Your wife is having an affair.
- Orange Man: What?
- Dr. Gregory House: You're *orange*, you moron! It's one thing for *you* not to notice, but if your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she's just not paying attention.
- Rebecca Adler: Am I ever gonna meet Dr. House?
- Dr. James Wilson: Oh, you might run into him at the movies or on a bus.
- Rebecca Adler: Is he a good man?
- Dr. James Wilson: He's a good... doctor.
- Rebecca Adler: Can you be one without the other? Don't you have to care about people?
- Dr. James Wilson: Caring's a good motivator. He's found something else.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to a patient, about House] I'm your doctor. You've been good to me and good to this hospital. Of course I care, but I don't see how this conversation could end well for me. Either your wife is having an affair, or she's not having an affair, and you have come here because you rightly think I should fire him, but I can't, even if it cost me your money. The son-on-a-bitch is the best doctor we have.
- Dr. Gregory House: [after questioning House's treatment plan for a patient] Why are you so afraid of making a mistake?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Because I'm a doctor. Because when we make mistakes people die.
- Dr. Gregory House: Not many people get to experience muscle death.
- Rebecca Adler: Did you think you were dying?
- Dr. Gregory House: I hoped I was dying.
- Rebecca Adler: [to Wilson, referring to House] He's your friend, huh?
- Dr. James Wilson: Yeah.
- Rebecca Adler: Does he care about you?
- Dr. James Wilson: I think so.
- Rebecca Adler: You don't know?
- Dr. James Wilson: As Dr. House likes to say, "Everybody lies."
- Rebecca Adler: It's not what people say; it's what they *do.*
- Dr. James Wilson: Yeah... he cares about me.
- Rebecca Adler: I wanted to thank Dr. House, but he never visited again.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: He cured you. You didn't cure him.
- Sydney: [Referring to her teacher's weekend] How come we always have to tell you what we did, and you never tell us what you did?
- [last lines]
- Reception Nurse: Doctor House? You have a patient.
- [they both look thru the glass wall; House sighs]
- Reception Nurse: He says he needs a refill.
- Dr. Gregory House: [slightly smiling, to Wilson] Got change for a dollar?
- [to the pharmacist; about to play a trick on a patient]
- Dr. Gregory House: I need thirty-six Vicodin and change for a dollar.
- Dr. Gregory House: Everybody lies.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Doctor House doesn't like dealing with patients.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
- Dr. Gregory House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
- Dr. Gregory House: You idiot!
- Dr. James Wilson: Listen, he's...
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Wilson] Not you, him.
- [to Foreman]
- Dr. Gregory House: You said you didn't find anything.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Everything I found was in my...
- Dr. Gregory House: You found *ham*.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: So?
- Dr. Gregory House: Where there's ham, there's *pork*. Where there's pork, there's neurocysticercosis.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Tapeworm? You think she's got a worm in her brain?
- Dr. Gregory House: It fits. Could have been living there for years.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: As long as it's healthy. So what do we do? Call a vet? Nurse the little guy back to health?
- Dr. Gregory House: It's too late for that. It's dying.