How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Pineapple Incident (2005)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney : Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do.

  Marshall : Doo-doo.

  Barney : [chuckling]  Totally.

• Lily : You know who might have something to say about Ted's future with Robin? Robin. Why don't you go wake her up?

  Ted : And say what, what am I supposed to say?

  Barney : Daddy's home.

• Marshall : [after Barney pushes a shot to Ted]  Interesting...

  Ted : What... You want me to do a shot?

  Barney : Oh no... I want you to do five shots.

  Marshall : More interesting.

• Lily : [Marshall, Ted and Lily discover Barney in the bathtub]  What are you doing in the bathtub?

  Barney : The porcelain keeps the suit from wrinkling.

  Lily : Wait a minute, were you here when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night?

  Barney : Don't worry, I slept through it.

  [Barney starts laughing and looking at Ted and Marshall] 

  Barney : Haha, I totally didn't sleep through it! And boy, for a little girl, you've got a big tank!

• Barney : Check out table number four! See that little hottie on the end, she's short, but has an ample bossem. I love it, she's, like, half boob. Let's go.

  Ted : Yeah, and say what, what's are big opening line?

  Barney : It's, uh... Daddy's home.

  Ted : "Daddy's home?" You want us to go over to those girls, and say "Daddy's home." Really think about that, Barney.

  Barney : Hmm... Yeah, think it's pretty solid.

• [Barney returns dejected from half-boob's table] 

  Ted : Oh, Daddy's back. See, if you'd thought about that, for just a second...

  Barney : [holds up a phone number]  Then I wouldn't have gotten this 7-digit Father's Day card from...

  [looks at napkin] 

  Barney : Amy!

  Ted : That worked? I hate the world.

• Barney : Your brain screws you up, Ted, it gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with "Half-Boob", and its gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses inebriation-style.

• Ted : You set me on fire.

  Barney : Real suede wouldn't have gone up so fast. You got robbed. This is a blend.

  Ted : You set me on fire! And who's the girl in my bed?

  Barney : There's a girl in yoir bed.

  Marshall : And a pinapple. Am I the only one who's curios about the pineapple?

• Barney : Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do.

  Marshall : Doo-doo!

  [laughs] 

  Barney : [chuckles]  Totally.