The Jack Benny Program (TV Series)
Jack Takes Violin Lessons (1964)
Jack Benny: Jack Benny
Quotes
-
Jack Benny : I don't think I know any Dr. Johnson. Look, the one who treated me for the flu was Dr. Allen and then for my sinus, I had Dr. Miller, then that time my knee went out of joint, I had Dr. Smith. Wait a minute, who... who took out my appendix?
Rochester Van Jones : I did.
Jack Benny : Oh yes - - yeah that's when my knee went out of joint.
-
Dr. E. Johnson : He doesn't remember who he is.
Jack Benny : Well, what's that got to do with me?
Dr. E. Johnson : Well, in all his mumblings, the only name he keeps mentioning is yours.
Jack Benny : Well, I mean that could... could be anybody. I have millions of fans.
Dr. E. Johnson : From what he's been mumbling, I don't think he's a fan.
-
Jack Benny : Do you think you can make a good violinist out of me?
Prof. Pierre LeBlanc : Well uh... I think I can do something, but it will take time. How old are you?
Jack Benny : Why?
Prof. Pierre LeBlanc : How much time have we got left?
-
Prof. Pierre LeBlanc : Monsieur Benny, perhaps if you held the violin upside down?
Jack Benny : Upside down? I wouldn't be able to play it that way.
Prof. Pierre LeBlanc : Let us try anything.
-
Prof. Pierre LeBlanc : Monsieur Benny, could I have some water please?
Jack Benny : Water? Yes, there's some in the cooler out in the hall.
Prof. Pierre LeBlanc : That is not enough. I would like to drown myself.
-
Jack Benny : Hey! I've got an idea. Supposing I take his violin and prove to him that I'm a good violinist?
Dr. E. Johnson : Maybe if he hears you play well, the shock will bring him back to reality.
Jack Benny : I didn't like the way you phrased it, but that's the idea.
-
Prof. Pierre LeBlanc : Pardon me, I... I lost my temper Monsieur Benny.
Jack Benny : Oh.
Prof. Pierre LeBlanc : I wish it was my hearing.