Jack of All Trades (TV Series)
The Floundering Father (2000)
Bruce Campbell: Jack Stiles, Daring Dragoon
Photos
Quotes
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Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild : Ten of your American dollars says God is a woman.
Jack Stiles : Well that explains why we're always trying to please her, and nothing we ever do is good enough.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild : It would also explain why we're no longer covered in fur while we hunt our neighbors for recreation.
Jack Stiles : Yeah, yeah. Next thing you'll tell me, God's British.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild : I'm trying to break you in slowly, Jack.
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Jack Stiles : Why am I doing all the work while you sit there drinking tea?
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild : Because tea time happens to be a time honored British tradition. When it's burger time I'll pedal.
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[Jack and Emilia are dressed as French soldiers, about to sneak into the fort]
Jack Stiles : Wait a minute! You can't pass for a French soldier with those jubbies!
[motions to his chest]
Jack Stiles : You gotta hide 'em!
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild : It may surprise you to know, Jack, they're not detachable!
Jack Stiles : Too bad, it'd make a nice addition to my teddy bear.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild : Oh, and it's a shame your Andrew Johnson isn't detachable either, I could use it to cork wine.
Jack Stiles : A Pinot Noir, no doubt.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild : [sarcastic] Ah-ha-ha-ha!