Jeeves and Wooster (TV Series)

In Court After the Boat Race (or, Jeeves' Arrival) (1990)

John Woodnutt: Sir Watkyn Bassett

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Sir Watkyn Bassett : This is one of the most shameful cases ever to come before this bench. In all my years as a magistrate I have seldom heard a tale of such heinous iniquity.

  Bertie : I... I...

  Sir Watkyn Bassett : Be quiet! This parasite can think of no better way to end an evening's hooliganism on the night of the University Boat Race Can our seats of learning produce barbarians so lost to decency that their highest ambition is to steal a hard-working police constable's helmet and make off with it?

  Bertie : Uh...

  Sir Watkyn Bassett : I find you guilty as charged, Bertram Wilberforce Wooster, and have no alternative but to fine you the sum of five pounds.

  Bertie : Ah!

  Sir Watkyn Bassett : No buts, Wooster.

  Bertie : Ah! Ho...

  Sir Watkyn Bassett : No ifs... Take him away!