The King of Queens (TV Series)
Fixer Upper (1998)
Kevin James: Doug Heffernan
Photos
Quotes
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Carrie Heffernan : These researchers, they kept a male monkey alone for so long, that when they finally stuck a female in with him, he threw feces at her and he humped a eucalyptus tree.
[Doug advances, leering]
Carrie Heffernan : That turns you on?
Doug Heffernan : A little bit, yeah.
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Carrie Heffernan : Don't you think Spence needs a date?
Doug Heffernan : No. He's got a very nice routine: work, dinner with his mom, Babylon 5, then sleep. Why screw around with it?
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Carrie Heffernan : Jenny, did I tell you Spence sells tokens on the subway?
Doug Heffernan : [sotto voce] That's the way to impress her.
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Doug Heffernan : Would you rather have your big toe amputated or make out with Larry King for 15 minutes?
Richie Iannucci : We lyin' down or standin' up?
Doug Heffernan : You're leaning against a car.
Richie Iannucci : Argh, it's right down the line!