- Hank: You shut your got-dang mouth or I'll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a tunnel straight through to sunshine!
- Big Jim: Ha ha, that's telling him.
- Hank: 'Felt good, too.
- Dale Gribble: Back off, Hank, or Octavio will mess you up.
- Octavio: Dale, I don't care if he stays or goes. Where's the money you owe me, esse?
- Dale Gribble: You heard him.
- Big Jim: Take your best shot, Cochise. I love two things: building doll house furniture and kicking ass. And I don't see any doll houses 'round here. You see any doll houses, Hank?
- [Hank shakes his head]
- Big Jim: No you don't, that's right! And what are you looking at, sport? Don't you eyeball me! Don't you eyeball a JUNKYARD DOG! ARF! ARF! ARF! NOW YOU GOT THE DOG BARKING! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! ARF! ARF!
- [yells, bellows, suddenly grabs his chest and keels over]
- Chuck Mangione: [upon receiving his anger management diploma] "Chick Mangione"? I'm not a chick, I'm a dude!
- [slugs the teacher upside the head with flugelhorn]
- City Inspector: [seeing Bill and Boomhauer seesawing on a sawhorse, as he inspects Hank's work] I admire you for hiring the mentally challenged.
- Hank: Hey Khan, you wanna try my new saw?
- Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: How many RPM?
- Hank: 6000
- Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: Nah!
- Hank: You know if you want, Bill and Boomhauer, one of you guys can come stand over here with me.
- Bill Dauterive: Uh, I'll wait 'till you pass that anger management class! I once made a nest out of your wife's underpants. I can't imagine what you'd do to me!
- Bobby Hill: Unfamiliar bathroom, no night light... I hope nobody's counting on one-hundred percent accuracy.
- Peggy Hill: Sit if you have to. I do... when I HAVE to.
- Nancy Hicks Gribble: It's like my own lil' diner in here!
- Bobby Hill: [Bobby examines a sloppy Belgian waffle on a plate with no maple syrup on it] Well, somebody's not getting a tip.
- Peggy Hill: [gasps upon seeing Big Jim in coffin] Hank! That is how you look like when you sleep.
- [enter flashbacks of Hank losing his temper]
- Hank: I'm going to kick your ass!
- Hank: You're ass is mine twiggy!
- Hank: [gives some anguished sighs in each flashback and even kicks a few people's asses!]
- [end flashbacks]
- Hank: [upon receiving his anger management diploma] Uh, it says "Hink Hall". You got the 'I' and the 'A' mixed up. This might make it difficult to get my restraining order lifted.
- Instructor: I'll bet that really steams your beans doesn't it, Hink?
- Bill Dauterive: [Sitting in a wheelbarrow] When can Hank move back in?
- City Inspector: [Addressing him how someone would address a child] Once all the repairs have been made, would you boys like a piece of hard candy?
- Bill Dauterive: [jumping up] Yes yes I would please like a piece of candy!
- City Inspector: [to Hank] I'd like to see these men in helmets
- Judge: Mr. Gribble alleges that you intentionally severed his finger.
- Hank: Your Honor it was an accident!, we're wasting valuable legal resources here.
- Dale Gribble: Objection, conjecture, objecture!
- Hank: That's not a word!
- Judge: Mr. Hill please control your outbursts!
- Hank Hill: [Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer are drinking on one side of the fence separate from Hank] You know if you want Bill, Boomhauer one of you guys can come stand over by me
- Bill Dauterive: I'll wait til you pass that anger class, you cut Dale's finger off for digging a tunnel, I once made a vest out of your wife's underpants, I can't imagine what you'd do to me
- Hank Hill: Come on I wouldn't hurt you, you guys know I don't have a problem with anger, I have a problem with idiots
- Dale Gribble: [Hank steps forward] Hold it right there! One more step and you'll have to move to a similar house a few blocks away, not too pretty a picture is it?
- Hank Hill: God dang it!
- [kicks the tape measure in frustration]
- Dale Gribble: [the tape measure flies back and hits Bill in the nuts] Oh god he's on another rampage, pray for us all!