- Joseph Gribble: Your mom's as cool as most people's dads.
- Bobby Hill: It's like that book they took out of the school library: "I've Got Two Dads."
- Hank Hill: No, you don't!
- Dale Gribble: [to Hank] My son is dreaming about getting spanked by your wife.
- Bill Dauterive: Well, that's not so unusual.
- Bill Dauterive: My daddy spanked me every day from when I was nine 'till I was sixteen and I turned out okay... bastard.
- Peggy Hill: I never even spank our Dog. Not that your son is worse than our, because he's not,and we have a very very good Dog and that speaks volume for your son...
- Mr Dooley: Mrs Hill please we should apologize to you. I'm sure Stuart deserved it, we know what a handful he can be.
- Peggy Hill: What, what are you saying?
- Mrs Dooley: You did good.