Kojak (TV Series)

Dead on His Feet (1974)

Telly Savalas: Lt. Theo Kojak

Quotes 

• Kojak : [dripping with sarcasm]  Hey look, Deidre, I'm sorry I missed your coming out party. I hear you were crowned Miss Silicone, is that right?

  Solly DeChico : Hey, Kojak, did you come here to break in a nightclub act or was there something special you wanted?

  Kojak : Hey, Counselor, you tell your client to have his mouth behave, or he's a prime candidate for a get well card.

  Solly DeChico : [raises voice]  He threatened me! You heard that, he threatened me!

  Kojak : Greeks, they don't threaten. They utter prophecies.

• Kojak : Hey, Benny, if it wasn't for you, Eddie Ryan would've had as much razzle-dazzle as a wet firecracker.

  [stands up] 

  Detective Benny Furore : Is that what you think? Is that what you think Eddy Ryan was like? A grandstander? Well let me tell you something: Eddie Ryan had more guts than anyone on this island. What do you think got him killed?

  Kojak : Dumb got him killed. Dead is not guts. Dead is dumb.

• Kojak : In the alley you couldn't see anything. And the alley was so dark you couldn't find your mouth with a $5 pizza.

• Kojak : [Benny shows up to work wearing outlandish clothes]  What's the gag?

  Detective Benny Furore : What do you mean, what's the gag? You told me you wanted me to change my image.

  Kojak : Oh yeah, I forgot about that. So if I asked you to lose some weight, what would you do, cut off your left arm? You're three hours late and you show up looking like Zsa Zsa Gabor's Christmas tree!