Kolchak: The Night Stalker (TV Series)

The Spanish Moss Murders (1974)

Darren McGavin: Carl Kolchak

Photos 

Quotes 

• Carl Kolchak : What ever happened to "I'm OK, you're OK"?

  Capt. Joe 'Mad Dog' Siska : Well, to tell you the truth, you're not OK! The people in group therapy didn't tell me I was ever gonna meet anybody as un-OK as you are.

• Carl Kolchak : [narrating]  Chez Voltaire was the Frenchiest of Chicago's French restaurants, which meant that people paid exorbitant funds to be abused by the waiters and eat minuscule portions. The total value of Chez Voltaire's wine cellar exceeded the gross national product of Paraguay.

• Pepe LaRue : The guy's name was Bobby Ray Solange.

  Carl Kolchak : Did he have any Spanish moss on him?

  Pepe LaRue : No, he was garnished with parsley.

• Carl Kolchak : [narrating]  There's nothing under the sun that I fear as much as I fear dentist appointments. I was on my way to one, envisioning the agony to come, when the police radio delivered me from that cruel and inhuman fate.

• Carl Kolchak : If she was such a schlub, doctor, why did you keep her on?

  Dr. Aaron Pollack : I tried to be a nice guy.

  Carl Kolchak : How's it workin' out, doc?

  Dr. Aaron Pollack : I don't know.

• Carl Kolchak : Listen, h-how'd your speech go?

  Tony Vincenzo : Oh, like calamine lotion at a poison ivy ward. I actually got a standing ovation!

• Carl Kolchak : I'd never visited the Chicago Botanical Gardens before. Maybe it was my hayfever - or maybe it was a premonition of boredom that kept me away.

• Record Producer : [Carl interrupts a recording session]  Why don't you *and* your boogeyman just boogie on out of here?

  Carl Kolchak : [exits booth]  Aaand a 1, 2, 3.

• Carl Kolchak : I'm going to beat on your drums all day, but you're going to talk to me.

• Carl Kolchak : They say that the mystics of India, while in a trance, can grow back severed fingers and move boulders with the power of their minds. It's documented. Somehow, Paul Langlois - in his special dream state - did even more than that: He created a palpable horror.

• Carl Kolchak : I've decided to do a whole feature series of articles on you. I mean, if it's OK with you.

  Dr. Aaron Pollack : Well, you can take your feature series and rotate on it. Do you take me for some sort of woolly-headed, absent-minded intellectual?