- Lennie Briscoe: [after interviewing Ron Weber] If he loved his kids that much, he'd have been home to tuck them in.
- Detective Rey Curtis: Yeah? You tell me **you** never drank too much and blacked out.
- Lennie Briscoe: Hey -- I missed the whole Carter administration, but I was always home for breakfast.
- Sergei Yentakov: No hard feelings. Mrs. Weber did what she had to do.
- Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, except in this country, her decision's supposed to be final. You're not supposed to offer her money to change her mind.
- Sergei Yentakov: No, no, no, detective. The wrong way around. Mrs. Weber came to me. For $10,000, license would be mine. Like I told my wife: the old country, the new country, are not so different after all.
- Mark Levinsohn: I didn't realize that he didn't tell Joyce. At a dinner party I mentioned to her how sorry I was. How was I to know he didn't tell her? I mean, he only had two weeks left.
- Lennie Briscoe: How'd she handle it?
- Mark Levinsohn: You ever been married?
- Lennie Briscoe: Point taken.
- Margot Bell: What do a sperm cell and a lawyer have in common?
- Claire Kincaid: Both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. There's a law: you pass the bar, you gotta stop telling lawyer jokes.
- Margot Bell: Why? Who better knows the truth?
- Claire Kincaid: Yeah, we're contentious, arrogant, too smart for our own goods, anal, expensive, theoretical, knee deep in minutiae. Not exactly the life we thought we were getting into.
- Margot Bell: You ever think about quitting?
- Claire Kincaid: Yeah, right. We'll open a flower shop.
- Margot Bell: Why not? You don't have to lie to suspects, and I don't have to represent guys like Weber.
- Claire Kincaid: I'm allergic, and neither one of us knows how to read a balance sheet.
- Chester Manning: Don't I get a lawyer or something?
- Detective Rey Curtis: I'll bring you the Yellow Pages; they got pictures!
- Jack McCoy: Do you think Weber is innocent? Or do you think we're just gonna have a tougher time proving that he's guilty?
- Claire Kincaid: I'm impressed. I never thought you distinguished between the two.
- Jack McCoy: I owe you.
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Well, maybe not...
- Jack McCoy: Were we sitting in the same courtroom? He sure as hell looked guilty to me.
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: To me too, and that's the problem. You were all over him, Jack. He should've broken down.
- Claire Kincaid: He did.
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: No, I mean he should've confessed under that much pressure. That's the typical response for a family annihilator.
- Jack McCoy: Why the hell didn't you tell me this before?
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Because you told me he would never take the stand.
- Claire Kincaid: So you're changing your opinion?
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: I'm not saying he's innocent, I'm just qualifying my opinion. Look, Jack, I told you I was on shaky ground at the start of this.
- Lennie Briscoe: [referring to Ron and Joyce Weber] He's a drunk, and she handles licenses to sell booze -- it's a marriage made in heaven!
- Detective Rey Curtis: [referring to bar owner who had been denied a liquor license by Joyce Weber] Sergei Yentakov? I remember him from OCCB. Guy pulled more strings than Jim Henson.
- Detective Rey Curtis: You know what I'm thinking, Chester? I'm thinking that maybe you thought you'd help yourself to Mrs. Weber's jewelry.
- Chester Manning: Really? Now why would I do a thing like that?
- Lennie Briscoe: Because you got to know how to read to check out the help wanteds!