Leave It to Beaver (TV Series)

Beaver's Autobiography (1962)

Jerry Mathers: The Beaver

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gilbert Bates : Finish your autobiography yet, Beaver?

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Yeah.

  Gilbert Bates : Hey, that's neat!

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : No, it isn't. I only have two pages and Mr. Thompson said you had to have three whole pages.

  Gilbert Bates : So, write another page, you dummy! We don't have to hand it in 'til Wednesday.

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : I can't. After I wrote two pages, my whole life was used up.

• Mr. Thompson : Oh, Theodore. About sneaky girls. We had a lot of them in my class, too, when I was your age.

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : No kiddin'? Gosh! How could you stand it?

  Mr. Thompson : Well, when you get old enough, you won't see their faults.

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Gee, Mr. Thompson. I don't think I'll ever get *that* old.

• Ward Cleaver : Don't tell me you're thinking of becoming President when you grow up!

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Who, me? I don't even wanna be a monitor at school!

• June Cleaver : Beaver, did you tell your teacher that she wrote it?

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Well, no, Mom.

  Ward Cleaver : Why not?

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Gee, Dad! You can't squeal on a girl!

  Ward Cleaver : No, I suppose you can't. But you don't go around letting other people do your homework for you, either. I hope this will be a good lesson to you.

  Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : It sure is, Dad! From now on, if anybody does my homework, it's gonna be some creepy boy!