- [first lines]
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: [Wally enters the kitchen from outdoors] Oh, hi, Mom.
- June Cleaver: Well, hi there, Wally. You're home from school early today.
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Yeah, they let us out half an hour early. They were sprayin' the trees for bugs, and they didn't want to kill any students.
- June Cleaver: [dryly] That was considerate of them.
- Eddie Haskell: [Discovering that Beaver is the one stuck in the soup bowl on the billboard] Oh fireman, save my child!
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: [to his friends after Beaver is rescued] If anyone makes a crack in the car, I'll slug them!
- Ward Cleaver: A teacher once said something to me that I think you'd do well to remember: "As you go through life, try to *improve* yourself, not *prove* yourself."
- The Beaver: Yeah, I've read that stuff before, Dad, but it's kinda hard to remember when a guy's calling you 'chicken'.
- Ward Cleaver: Well, I'll tell you a little secret, Beaver. As you get older, it gets easier and easier to remember things like that.
- June Cleaver: Where is Wally, anyway?
- Ward Cleaver: He's upstairs, shaving.
- June Cleaver: Oh, Ward, does Wally really have to shave?
- Ward Cleaver: No - but, uh, he asked me if he did, and I didn't want to destroy his confidence by telling him no.
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: If it's ok with you and Dad, I'd like to have a whole bunch of the guys over here Friday night.
- June Cleaver: Well, uh, Wally, this 'whole bunch of guys', who are they?
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Oh, uh, you know, uh, Margie, Mary Ellen, Tommy, Eddie, Christine, Mildred...
- June Cleaver: Oh, *those* guys.