- Edward 'Eddie' Haskell: Does the company supply my uniform?
- Captain Drake: Uniform? You'll wear dungarees and a rubber apron! You'll live in the foc'sle. Your job will be to cut bait. You'll go to bed smelling like fish, you'll get up in the morning smelling like fish, you'll eat fish, you'll clean fish and you'll *hate* fish!
- Edward 'Eddie' Haskell: Yes, sir. But what do you do about seasickness?
- Captain Drake: Don't worry. You'll do it!
- [first lines]
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah, this summer I'm thinkin' of gettin' my job back at the soda fountain.
- Clarence Rutherford: That's neat, Wally. My Dad got me a great job handin' out towels at the country club.
- The Beaver: That's a great job, Lumpy?
- Clarence Rutherford: Sure. Dad says I'll meet the cream of Mayfield society in the locker room.
- The Beaver: How can you tell if they're society guys when they're in their underwear?
- Agnes Haskell: [Referring to Eddie] Well, I hope they don't have to give him one of those short sailor haircuts.
- George Haskell: Why would that bother you?
- Agnes Haskell: Well, he's worked so hard keeping those curls!