User Reviews

It's a Christmas episode! You know it's Christmas because there's a Santa head on the wall. It's a Christmas episode, so sexiness is not allowed on board this cruise. We're all about modesty here at the cold North Pole. This one first aired December 10th 1977. America was about to celebrate the first Christmas of the Jimmy Carter era. What could possibly go wrong? God bless Aaron Spelling, a man more interested in jiggle than politics. Captain Stubing is not in the spirit. 'As far as I'm concerned, Christmas is just another working day.' Can the contrived circumstances of the episode melt his non-holiday celebrating heart? Florence Henderson is our third Brady in 11 episodes. She'd made make many, many more appearances. Shecky Greene plays her husband. Shecky's working with a bad toupee. They're quietly feuding via voiceovers. Donna Mills is here. Her husband, played by John Gavin, has been accused of a crime. He swear he's innocent! (They all say that.) Gavin is 17 years past Psycho but still looking good. (I mean he's got a toupee too but it's way better than Greenes.) This subplot almost gets violent. Guys, this is The Love Boat. Leave the violence for Columbo. Finally, Father Dick Sargent has brought on board a group of impish orphans. It occurs to me that orpans are a guaranteed dramatic device - cute and worthy of pathos. (These orphans are constantly trying to scam a taste of booze.) Father thinks he's a real clever boy, telling Captain Stubing how to better get on with his crew. 'Hey, man, what's happening,' Stubing says to Issac. 'I'll lay some words on you later. Give me five.' Julie apparently does needlepoint. She doesn't strike me as the type. Indeed, when Stubing tries to do it with her, she immediately interprets it as something sexual. Captain Stubing mentions to Julie that some NFL players do needlepoint. He's talking about Rosey Grier. Father Sarget is almost an angelic advisor here, guiding Stubing along the steep path to Heaven. This one feels particularly well-integrated. I'm no Scrooge. On Kafka's Love Boat Scale, this episode gets 3 1/2 * out of a possible 4 *.