The Lucy Show (TV Series)
Lucy Gets Jack Benny's Account (1967)
Gale Gordon: Mr. Theodore J. Mooney
Quotes
-
Lucy Carmichael : [Lucy and Mr. Mooney are trying to think of someone to endorse their bank] How about the Maharajah of Beverly Hills?
Theodore J. Mooney : Who?
Lucy Carmichael : Jack Benny!
Theodore J. Mooney : Jack Benny?
Lucy Carmichael : Sure! Everybody knows that Jack Benny doesn't trust banks. He keeps all his money in his house. If we could get his business we could get everyone else's business!
Theodore J. Mooney : If we could get Jack Benny's business, we wouldn't need anyone else's business!
-
[Jack Benny is opening a bank account]
Mr. Theodore J. Mooney : Your social security number?
Jack Benny : One.
Mr. Theodore J. Mooney : Do you have any scars or identifying marks?
Jack Benny : Well... yes, I have a tattoo done many years ago.
Mr. Theodore J. Mooney : What does it say?
[embarrassed, Jack whispers in Mr. Mooney's ear]
Mr. Theodore J. Mooney : J-e-l-l-o?
Jack Benny : You see, I had to. In those days, sponsors were hard to come by.