M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Are You Now, Margaret? (1979)
Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce
Quotes
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Maj. Charles Winchester : Sir, I am so conservative that I make you look like a New Dealer, and I must tell you that to suspect Margaret Houlihan of political subversion is absurd.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : To suspect Margaret Houlihan of political anything is absurd.
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Major Margaret Houlihan : Well, tell me what I can do.
Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : We need to be closer, Margaret. Much closer.
Major Margaret Houlihan : Closer?
Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : Right.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : [Margaret and Williamson kiss. Klinger steps out of the closet and snaps a picture] 'V.I.P. Makes Major Mistake.'
Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : What was that?
Major Margaret Houlihan : It's 10:00.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [Hawkeye, B.J., and Charles enter] Did someone flash?
Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : Uh! Uh, uh... There is someone in that wall locker.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : There is?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Oh, my. You must...
Maj. Charles Winchester : You're right, they're everywhere.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : [B.J. opens the closet door] Klinger, is there someone in here?
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : No, I've been in here 20 minutes, and I haven't seen anybody.
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Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : What about the fellow you share this tent with? Winchester?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Ah, R. Theodore, there is a true man among men.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Absolutely. But more than a man, he's a prince.
Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : Tell me about him.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : He used to be a frog.
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Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : Do you always treat enemy soldiers?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Of course not, only if they're sick.
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Father Francis Mulcahy : You know, it's not my nature to be suspicious, but I found some of Mr. Williamson's questions highly personal.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I find his person highly questionable.
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Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : Gentlemen, in my work for Congressman Lurie, I have unearthed some news that will come to you as a severe shock. The real enemy we are fighting is within America itself.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Oh, wait a second. Suddenly, it all makes sense. We're in the wrong country. It's not North and South Korea who should be fighting. It's North and South Dakota.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : We could be going home weekends.
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Congressional Aide R. T. Williamson : [a nurse passes by] Now, that is a very attractive woman.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Oh, sure, she looks great in a uniform. But take it off and she's wearing nothing.