M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Hepatitis (1977)

Gary Burghoff: Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hawkeye : Believe me Radar, someday you're going to meet a girl that you're going to want to introduce to your mom. And instead of taking advantage of her, you'll give her something you've been saving all you're life: yourself. And believe me you won't get sleepy. You know what I mean?

  Radar : [weepy]  Yeah, thanks.

  Hawkeye : I know this sounds like the wrong time, but would you mind dropping your pants?

• Radar : Well, sometimes the guys and I go over to Rosie's Bar. We really have a good time. We're laughing and joking. Talking about what we're going to do when the wars over. Then some of guys start talking to some of the business girls. And well, I feel sort of funny.

  Hawkeye : What do you mean?

  Radar : I feel sleepy.

  Hawkeye : You think there's something wrong with you?

  Radar : Is there?

  Hawkeye : Radar, you're suffering from a normal case of decency.

• Radar : Want to read Major Burns' Popular Mechanics? Sometimes the ads go pretty far.

  Hawkeye : [sulking about not getting nudist magazines in the mail]  Radar, a picture of a three-way toilet valve does not go "pretty far".

• Radar : [Father Mulcahy has hepatitis]  Ooooh gee! Ooooh ick! I ate his sausage!

  Father Francis Mulcahy : I didn't touch them, Radar.

  Radar : I know, Father, but it was yours!