- Major Margaret Houlihan: [about a nurse] People who don't have a stomach for this don't belong here.
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: You're right, let's all go home.
- Nurse Able: This place takes getting used to. Took me a while and I used to work emergency in Chicago. Accidents, suicide, homicide.
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Ah, the good old days.
- Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: I want a tattoo, but I'm not sure what kind to get.
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: How about a calendar? At least for a year it'll be useful.
- Captain B.J. Hunnicut: Make it a tie, no restaurant will ever refuse you.
- Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly: What do you guys like better: tigers or snakes?
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Depends on the sauce.