- Ira Buchman: [about Paul's fertility test] So tell me, Paulie. Tell me about the test. What do they do?
- Paul Buchman: I dunno. They... They have a microscope, and then they... they look and they... they count.
- Ira Buchman: And they tell you what?
- Paul Buchman: They tell you, if you're percolating or...
- Ira Buchman: Making decaf?
- Paul Buchman: Exactly.
- Ira Buchman: Passing bad checks?
- Paul Buchman: Whatever.
- Ira Buchman: Signing your name with invisible ink?
- Paul Buchman: All right, I get it, I get it, I get it. I mean, I have no reason to believe that...
- Ira Buchman: That you're playing poker without any chips.