- Hal: Boys, let me tell you something, the only way I've managed to get through my crappy life with any shred of self-worth is by living in denial! If I was gonna let myself get beaten by failure I woud've quit after one kid!
- Craig Feldspar: [Lois and other Lucky Aid employees are inside the store, chasing a squirrel that bit Craig] Wait, he's headed for the front door! Watch out. He's got murder in his eyes...
- [sobbing loudly]
- Craig Feldspar: ...and a cute fluffy tail!