Malcolm in the Middle (TV Series)
Red Dress (2000)
Frankie Muniz: Malcolm Wilkerson
Photos
Quotes
-
Lois : [entering the boys' room] What did you do?
Malcolm : What?
Lois : Don't give that look. What did you do?
Malcolm : Nothing.
Lois : Well, I suppose you wouldn't mind if I... took a look in here!
[opens a drawer]
Malcolm : Mom, I'm telling you. we didn't do anything.
Lois : [notices the curtains are closed] If you've broken another window, it's coming out of your...
[opens curtain]
Reese : Are you done? Wanna frisk me?
Lois : You just consider yourselves lucky.
[leaves then immediately returns, then closes door]
Dewey : [tied up on back of door] That was close.
Malcolm : Either she's losing her touch, or we're getting better.
-
Malcolm : [while on the phone] Hey, Francis. You told me to remind you about Mom and Dad's anniversary.
Francis : Ah, great. When is that?
Malcolm : Tomorrow.
Francis : Dude, you're supposed to remind me before so I can get 'em something.
Malcolm : That's okay. We'll put your name on our gift.
Francis : Cool. Thanks, man. I owe you one.
Malcolm : No, you own me $20. That's what your share comes to.
Francis : You got them an $80 gift?
Malcolm : Uh, yeah.
-
Reese : [while staring up at the ceiling] I wonder how many holes are up in those tiles.
Malcolm : One hundred and eighty-six thousand, four hundred and eighty.
Reese : You counted all of those?
Malcolm : No. You just count one tile's row across and down, multiply it and then multiply it again by the number of tiles.
Reese : You're doing that more and more.
Malcolm : Doing what?
Reese : That brain thing. Are you just gonna keep getting smarter and weirder?
Malcolm : I don't know.
Reese : Well, can you tone it down a little bit? 'Cause I can't keep up with all these butt kickings.
Malcolm : What are you talking about?
Reese : Well, at least twice a day, I have to whoop-ass on some kid calling you a weirdo. Honestly, it's exhausting.
Malcolm : You beat up kids 'cause they call me a weirdo?
Reese : Well, the last kid? He was a freak anyways. He was in no position to throw out names.
Malcolm : Thanks.
Reese : For what?
Malcolm : Nothing.
-
Malcolm : The good thing about being smart is that I never have to look up any phone numbers. The bad thing is, no one else in my family ever bothers to remember anything.
-
Lois : [after she discovers her red dress in the toilet burnt] Fire? Fire? Fire?
Malcolm : Mom, what...?
Lois : This is the most stupid, irresponsible dangerous thing you have ever done! Is this what you want? Where we have to identify your charred little bodies through their dental records? I want a straight answer. Who did this?
Reese : Malcolm did it.
Malcolm : Reese did it.
Reese : I didn't do it!
Malcolm : I didn't do it!
Dewey : We're going to the dentist?
