- Malcolm: I can't believe he could really be gone.
- Dewey: I know. Wow, this diaper's gotta be a 5-pounder!
- Malcolm: I'd like to think Jamie knew what it was for. It's so weird. It seems like all my life I wished that something horrible would happen to Reese. And now that is has I... I...
- Dewey: Miss him?
- Malcolm: Yeah.
- Dewey: I do, too. Remember when he shaved my eyebrows and glued them back on so I looked permanently surprised? That was genius.
- Malcolm: Remember the pure joy he got on Christmas morning when he was smashing our presents? No matter how hard I tried, I could never make Mom's face turn to that special purple color... Reese purple.
- Dewey: Maybe we honor Reese the wrong way. Reese wasn't into helping people and doing good deeds. He loved to smash things and destroy stuff for no reason. If we want to honor Reese, maybe we should think about doing it his way.
- Malcolm: You have something in mind?
- Dewey: [shows him a brochure] This kind of caught my eye.
- Malcolm: An art fair?
- Dewey: Just think what Reese would have done with it. They've got fold dancing, dream catchers, face-painting...
- Malcolm: They are kind of begging for it. I don't know...
- Dewey: And rapping grannies.
- Malcolm: Let me see that!
- Reese: [after deserting the Army in Afghanistan, Reese is crawling through the desert half-dead, when he sees a vision] Mr Waffles?
- Mr. Waffles: Reese, you can't give up. You've got to keep going. You've got to keep trying.
- Reese: You don't know what I've been through. I've been shot at, chased, married - and when the guy found out I was a dude, it wasn't like a total deal-breaker.
- Lois: You know, sergeant, you and I aren't so different. I mean if you think about it, we both have the same job. Taking a bunch of mindless irresponsible teenagers and turning them into something vaguely useful to the world.
- Lois: Did you make everone suffer for what the one kid did?
- Sgt. Hendrix: Of course, but it never lasts, does it? It is stunning how much punishment they require.
- Lois: Tell me about it. I'm amazed I get anything else done... Did you ever try the opposite?
- Sgt. Hendrix: What do you mean?
- Lois: Give one of them special privileges for no reason.
- Sgt. Hendrix: How does that work?
- Lois: It's really pretty neat. The others don't know why he got special privileges, so they start doing everything right just to catch up. And then the one you singled out starts getting suspicious and paranoid and he starts informing on the stragglers.
- Sgt. Hendrix: Pretty good. You mind if I steal that one?
- Lois: Be my guest. You know another good one? Let them pick punishments for each other. It exercises their creativity and keeps them from ganging up on you.
- Sgt. Hendrix: Nice!
- Mr. Waffles: You have to move Reese. You have to get home to your family and friends and your country. These people have no idea what breakfast is. They take rice from the night before and cook it up into a thin paste. Is that your idea of breakfast?
- Reese: No.
- Mr. Waffles: Do you ever want to taste my buttery goodness again?