- Malcolm: Half an hour ago, I was worrying about which one f us was going to be eaten by a hungry tiger. Now, I can relax.
- [there are two tigers]
- Lois: [on the phone with Francis] We promised not to sue them, and they promised not to throw Reese in jail.
- Lois: Honey, this is just a phase. Every teenager goes through it. I did, your father did; Francis cried in the shower every day for six months. Reese wouldn't get out of the dryer. It's awkward, and it's painful, and you think it's never going to end. Now get out of bed. We're going to the zoo.
- Malcolm: Why are we going to go stare at a bunch of pathetic, caged animals and fat suburban yahoos pointing and laughing at them?
- Lois: Because I have a coupon.
- Matt: I am so sorry. Victor's never done anything like that before. Once the swelling goes down, the fangs should fall out.