Married... with Children (TV Series)

But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy (1987)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : Well, I'll tell ya something, Peg. Feet and the return of warm weather sure makes for a deadly combination.

• Al Bundy : Get out! Out! Out! Pretend there's a keg on the lawn! Out! Out!

• Al Bundy : Where are the kids?

  Peggy Bundy : Upstairs.

  Al Bundy : What if they come down?

  Peggy Bundy : I'll take care of that.

  [shouts upstairs] 

  Peggy Bundy : Bud, Kelly, do you want to come down and help me in the kitchen?

  [two doors slam] 

• Steve Rhoades : Uh, hi, Peggy. Uh, Al. Hope we're not interrupting anything.

  Al Bundy : Naaaah, just going to have a little sex with the wife. What the heck, there's always next month.

• Steve Rhoades : Hi, Peg. Borrow a cup of kibble? We ran out and the dog's still hungry.

  Al Bundy : What's the matter? The neighbor's cat didn't fill him up?

• Norris : Al, you got any more beer?

  Al Bundy : No. And in all the excitement, I forgot to ask: Why are you meeting in my house?

  Norris : 'Cause our wives didn't want you in ours.

• Peggy Bundy : How could you shoot a dog?

  Al Bundy : He didn't look like a dog, Peg. All I'd seen were these two yellow eyes staring at me from the bushes and I - I told him to freeze. And then I thought it made a move at me, and I panicked.

  Kelly Bundy : You couldn't tell the difference between a dog and a human being?

  Al Bundy : He was wearing a hat! Kelly, honey, I was trying to protect our family!

  Bud Bundy : That's right, Kel. Dad did a good thing. Can I go out and see the body?

  Kelly Bundy : You're disgusting!

  Bud Bundy : [pulls a face at her]  And you're failing five classes!

• Steve Rhoades : You see, Bella still hasn't accepted us as his rightful owners.

  Al Bundy : You named that dog after Bela Lugosi?

  Steve Rhoades : No, Abzug.

  Marcy Rhoades : We thought it was kind of cute. But he won't wear the hat.