Married... with Children (TV Series)

Get Outta Dodge (1994)

Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy

Quotes 

• Jefferson D'Arcy : So, uh, how's your ad coming?

  Al Bundy : Done. Here.

  [Al hands Jefferson the notepad] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [reading ad]  "Used car of indeterminate year. Forced to sell by used wife... Also of indeterminate year." $4,000?

  Al Bundy : What? You don't think I can get $4,000?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : I don't think you could get dollars.

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Well, for my money, you still can't beat a European sports car. Marcy and I are nuts about ours. Rack-end pinning steering, four-wheel independent suspension, and 310 of the sexiest Euro ponies that ever hurdled a Yankee from 0 to 60 in under 5 seconds. Oh, man, what a car.

  Al Bundy : Where is it?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : It's in the shop.

  Al Bundy : Still?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [nods]  Mm-hmm.

  Al Bundy : Jefferson, you've had the car five months, it hasn't been off the rack yet. What's wrong with it?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Well, they don't know, but it's something very sophisticated, very expensive, and very, very Euro. Ha ha. I'm telling you, I'm on top of the world with that car. You can ask anybody on the bus how happy I am.

• Al Bundy : Now listen to me, Peg. You can nag, you can cry, you can whinny, bleat and moo, but I will never sell the Dodge.

  [the next day] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : You're finally selling the Dodge, huh?

  Al Bundy : Yeah, it's like giving up one of your children, but none of the joy.

• Kelly Bundy : [Al in the Dodge had accidentally rolled out of the garage]  How did he finally stop?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Well, luckily, there was a brand new, foreign car parked outside, which had finally been fixed but never driven.

  Marcy D'Arcy : Well, I guess it's good to get that first broadside out of the way.