Married... with Children (TV Series)

Get the Dodge Out of Hell (1995)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : I want my Dodge, dag-nabit.

  Mikey : Dag-nabit? What did you do, get the "Hooked on Phonics" Yosemite Sam tape?

• Al : When I think of the PAIN and the SUFFERING that I had to go through for you to be conceived. You should be ashamed for betraying your family this way.

• Peggy : Wanker County was originally called "Olbie Wooba Possum Watamee" which means, "Land of the Big Gassy Possum".

  Al : Which explains why Disney has no interest in putting a theme park there.

• Al : Now, this is ridiculous. Somewhere in this carwash is a Dodge with my name on it.

  [Al walks out to look for his car and the others remain] 

  Peggy : Gee, I didn't know they made a Dodge Loser.

• Al : Oh, Peg, look, Car-Bras.

  Peggy : The Dodge does not need a Car-Bra.

  Al : Oh, it's not for the Dodge, Peg. No, it's for your mom.

  [Al holds the box up] 

  Al : Look, it's even in her size: "Astro Van".

• Al : [to attendant]  You keep your hands off my CD player.

  Peggy : Al, we don't have a CD player.

  Al : Well we would have, Peg, if you hadn't have said that.

• Mikey : We're going to buy you a new car. How does a Hyundai sound?

  Al : Like an old lawnmower.

• Al : Peg, what is it with you? You can change six D batteries in the dark, but you can't find a two-ton automobile.

  Peggy : Let's not start talking about who can't find what in the dark...

• Mikey : [a teenager]  I'm Mikey. I'm the manager.

  Al : Of what? The Mets?

  Mikey : I don't take lip from shoe salesmen. Now what do you want? I have a book report due tomorrow.

  Al : I want my car. It never came out the other end.

  Mikey : Are you sure you brought a car?

  Al : No, I drove the wife. Of course I brought a car, you zit farm.

• Al : Oh Peg, look a racing strip!

  Peggy : The Dodge doesn't need a racing strip. I couldn't hit 60 if it dropped out of a plane.

  Al : [Al holds a tight fist up]  No but you could Peg! See Peg you spend money on a fribulous -

  [Interupts himself] 

  Al : Ooh, Peg look car bras!

  Peggy : The Dodge doesn't need a car bra.

  [Al holds up a car bra purchase box] 

  Al : Oh it's not for the Dodge Peg. No, it's for your mom. See, it's even in her size, Astrovan.

• Peggy : Scoff all you want, but I think being named the Grand Marshal of the Wanker County bicentennial parade is a big deal.

  Bud Bundy : Yeah Dad. Come on they're celebrating 200 years.

  Al : Since what, they crawled from the oceans? No way was it that long ago.

• Peggy : Al, why are you in such a bad mood? Some men like to go shopping with their wives.

  Al : Sure. For coffins.

• Peggy : The Dodge doesn't need racing stripes. It couldn't hit sixty even if you dropped it out of a plane.

  Al : [balls his fist]  No, but you could, Peg.