Married... with Children (TV Series)

Lookin' for a Desk in All the Wrong Places (1991)

Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : My God, she has you running like a Frenchman through a thunderstorm!

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Come on, Al. You think I'm afraid of Marcy? I'm the man in this marriage and I can do anything I want. Just last month, I stopped payment on the storage locker that Marcy has a lease on downtown, took the money and went to the horse race track to gamble it all away. Now, does that sound like a man who's afraid of his wife?

  Al : What do you think Marcy is gonna do when she finds out? The storage locker company terminates your lease and sells all your items when they don't get paid.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : I'm a con man, a thief and a gigilo. Marcy will never find out. She never goes down there.

  Marcy D'Arcy : [walks up to the guys]  Jefferson, can I borrow the keys to the storage unit?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [whispering to Al]  Watch me con my way out of this one.

  [to Marcy, feining ignorance] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Uh... what storage unit?

  Marcy D'Arcy : Storage unit Number 319 where I keep my precious and irreplacable baby furniture. Can I have the keys? I want to show Peggy some of it.

  Al : [smirks; whispering to Jefferson]  Good night, sweet prince.

  [Al backs away as Jefferson is clearly getting nervous] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : Jefferson? The keys.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [stammering]  Uh... Marcy, did I ever tell you that I love you? You are the most precious thing in my life.

  Marcy D'Arcy : [suspicious]  What did you do to my precious and irreplaceable baby furniture that mean more to me than ten of you?