Married... with Children (TV Series)

No Chicken, No Check (1993)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Now, pumpkin; before you drive your car, you need to be covered.

  Kelly : Isn't that up to the guy, Dad?

  Al : I'm talking about car insurance, you little...

• Kelly : You registered our car as a farm vehicle?

  Peggy : I'm not surprised. He registered the Dodge as a pull toy.

  Al : And the next thing I register will be a handgun.

• Kelly : [to Neuter]  So, that Island that you own... is it near the beach?

• Al : Jefferson, tell them what $800 can buy.

  Jefferson : Well, it could buy you a nice car.

  Kelly : You really know where we can get a car for $800, Mr. D'Arcy?

  Jefferson : Sure do. Car auctions. You know, where they sell cars seized by federal agencies.

  Marcy : It's true. They may not be in the best of shape, bullet holes, blood stains, the smell of rotting bodies. But then you don't seem to mind riding in the Dodge.

  Al : There's no bullet holes in my Dodge. But that can be changed if you're willing to crawl into the trunk.

• [Al and the kids have returned from the auto auction] 

  Peggy : Did you buy the kids a car, Al?

  Kelly : [off screen]  DON'T TOUCH MY CAR! I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR HANDS HAVE BEEN!

  Bud : [off screen]  IN THAT CASE YOU SHOULDN'T BE SITTING IN IT!

  Al : Yes, I did. And, as you can see, all of my worries about them fighting were unfounded.

  [Looks out the window where Kelly has Bud in a headlock beating him on the head] 

  Al : On the upside, however, I did get them to knock off $100. Why pay for seat belts if you don't have brakes?

• Kelly : Does your date mean more to you than my happiness?

  Bud : A milkshake means more to me than your happiness.

• Kelly Bundy : Not tonight, I have a date with Neuter.

  Bud Bundy : You can go out with Dad anytime.

• [Bud and Kelly are double dating at the drive-in] 

  Sonya : American movies are so rich and confusing. So much texture and subplot.

  Bud : Well, the thing to remember is that Elmer is mad at Bugs because he tied his gun barrel into a bow.

  Kelly : Exchange student, huh? What did we send her country; a head of lettuce and some sand?

• Bud : Well, we finished the errands, Mom. We got everything you wanted from the store.

  [starts taking contents out of the bag] 

  Bud : Bourbon-flavored bonbons, romance novels, Kenny G CD...

  Kelly : Mmm, you and Dad are going to have quite a time tonight, huh, Mom?

  Bud : Batteries...