- Marcy Rhoades: I'm settling an argument here. Al is a cheap, sexist, primitive throwback of a human being.
- Steve Rhoades: So what's the argument?
- Marcy Rhoades: You want a VCR? I have the solution. You're going to get a job.
- Al, Peggy Bundy: HA HA HA HA Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha ha...
- Mr. Hugo: Do you sell clocks?
- [there is a whole shelf of clocks behind Peggy who looks at Mr. Hugo incredulously]
- Peggy Bundy: No!
- [Mr. Hugo exits]
- Al: Now remember, kids, this is your mother's first day at work. She's probably a little nervous, a little insecure. So when she comes down those stairs I want everyone to stand behind her like a family... and try not to laugh.
- Peggy Bundy: He'll say, "Why do we need a VCR? Because you wanna watch Phil and tape Oprah?" Ha, I mean everyone knows that you watch Oprah and tape Phil.