Married... with Children (TV Series)

Pilot (1987)

Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : Anything else I can do to make your life a little easier?

  Peggy Bundy : You could shave your back.

  Al Bundy : Hey, that hair is there for a reason... keeps you off of me at night.

• [last lines] 

  Al Bundy : Hey, let's go out Saturday night. You know, to eat, just me and you.

  Peggy Bundy : Well, sure, if you want to.

  Al Bundy : We haven't been to The Captain's Table in a long time.

  Peggy Bundy : Oooo, we always like it there. They have such a nice menu.

  Al Bundy : Yeah.

  [long pause] 

  Al Bundy : You wanna go upstairs,

  Peggy Bundy : Thought you wanted to watch the game.

  Al Bundy : Naah! Who cares!

  Al Bundy : [as they head up the stairs]  You know, I like the coffee there too.

  Peggy Bundy : Mm.

• Al : I'm gonna hate these people.

  Peggy : You will not hate them. They are very nice.

  Al : If they were nice, they'd be dead and I'd be at the game.

• [first lines] 

  [Bud sneaks up behind Kelly and grabs her hair and holds a plastic knife to her neck] 

  Kelly Bundy : Let go of my hair, you little psychopath!

  Bud Bundy : Die, commie bimbo!

  Peggy Bundy : Now, Bud! I thought we talked about this before.

  Bud Bundy : What's that, Mom?

  Peggy Bundy : You know, sneaking up behind your sister, pulling her hair, pretending to kill her. You remember the effect it had on Grandma? nobody likes it; nobody thinks it's funny, so cut it out, okay?

  Bud Bundy : Sure, Mom.

  [a horn honks from outside] 

  Peggy Bundy : Now, go to school.

  Kelly Bundy : [to Bud as they walk out]  I *hate* you!

  Bud Bundy : Good!

• [Al enters with holding a small cactus plant with one of his hands bandaged] 

  Al Bundy : Sweetie, is this your little cactus?

  Peggy Bundy : Uh-huh.

  Al Bundy : Any particular reason you put it where the alarm clock used to be?

  Peggy Bundy : I thought it would dress up the room a little bit. Ah, gee, you know, I meant to tell you do be careful before you slammed your hand down on the alarm this morning.

  Al Bundy : [showing his bandaged hand]  Well, you didn't.

  Peggy Bundy : Sorry.

  Al Bundy : That's okay. I stopped the bleeding with your slip.

• Peggy Bundy : Al, do you have to leave the refrigerator door open? I'm getting chilled from the draft.

  Al Bundy : [sarcastic]  Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I should look for some food in the dishwasher.

• Al Bundy : Where are the kids?

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, they left for school. The school bus just picked them up. Oh, by the way, Bud has show-and-tell at school today. The subject is 'what does Daddy do?' So if you come home from work and a can of beer from the fridge is missing and you can't find the remote control for the TV... that's where they are.

  Al Bundy : I hope he brings the remote back. The Bulls are playing on TV tonight.

  Peggy Bundy : [sarcastic]  Oh my God, you're kidding!

  Al Bundy : Not as exciting with your cooking from watching Clyde the Cajun Chef show, but at least it gives me a reason to come home.