- Kelly Bundy: [sing-song] Give me a 'P'. Give me an 'O'. Give me a 'K'. Give me an 'E'. Poke High! Yeah!
- Mr. Groggs: Very good. But it's P-O-L-K. Polk High. Named after President James K. Polk.
- Kelly Bundy: [bewildered] Huh?
- Mr. Groggs: [to Ms. Mount] What do you think, Ms. Mount?
- Ms. Mount: I like her. I like her, a lot!
- Mr. Groggs: [to Kelly] Congradulations, Miss Bundy. You are now a Polk Dot!
- Peggy Bundy: All right, Al. It's time to do your chores.
- Al Bundy: Wait a second, Peg. We just had sex three nights ago. I'm still kind of woozy.
- Peggy Bundy: I'm asking you to take out the garbage, Al. The longer of the two jobs.
- Al Bundy: And the more rewarding.
- [Al picks up the plastic garbage bag and it breaks, spilling garbage all over the floor]
- Peggy Bundy: Don't you even know how to do that?
- Al Bundy: Thanks, Peg. Now it's exactly like sex.
- Kelly Bundy: I checked up on this guy and I know he's not doing too good in English.
- Bud Bundy: Well, Kelly.
- Kelly Bundy: Well what?
- Bud Bundy: Okay, so he ain't done no good in English.
- Kelly Bundy: I'm Kelly. Remember, we met in the boys' shower the other day?
- Matt: Oh yeah, the soup girl.
- Kelly Bundy: Soap girl. S-O-P-E.
- Kelly Bundy: What are you doing here?
- Bud Bundy: Well, I had a little poison oak left over, so I took out the water boy. Meet the new water boy.
- Kelly Bundy: You don't even bathe. What do you know about water?
- Bud Bundy: I know if you spray some on a cheerleader's sweater, you get a cheap thrill.
- Kelly Bundy: Mom, I flirted with a boy and he paid no attention to me.
- Peggy Bundy: Oh honey.
- [hugs Kelly]
- Peggy Bundy: Well, you can't give up. You've got to keep on trying.
- Bud Bundy: There's nowhere left to go once you've stood in the boys' shower wearing a sign that says, "Soap".
- Marcy Rhoades: [thinking to herself] Look at those young boys. Those tight little buns squeezed into those tight little uniforms. Spike *Me*, Baby. Spike *Me*.
- [licks her lips]