- Kelly: A fat woman comes to the gate today, her muumuu covering what must have been three or four heinies. Now she could exit through an itty-bitty turnstile or a huge gate - guess which one she chooses! A line was forming. I had to do something. So, I went and got a tub of butter from the Delta Burke "Let's Get Big" exhibit and oiled her up. Then I went over to Star Trek Land, hotwired the Enterprise and sent it up where no man has gone before! She goes flying like a vegetable out of Dad's mouth, right into "The Facts of Life" fan club pavilion. Thank God it's always empty. Can somebody give me a reason to live?
- Mr. Nielsen: Who keeps feeding this duck?
- [Kelly has been giving bread to a bright orange false duck]