Maude (TV Series)

Maude's New Friend (1974)

Bea Arthur: Maude Findlay

Photos 

Quotes 

• Walter Findlay : Where's the dental floss? You know, I can never find anything in that cabinet.

  Maude Findlay : Honey, it's on the right-hand side. I always very carefully put everything pertaining to dental hygiene in the same place.

  Walter Findlay : Since when?

  Maude Findlay : Since the morning you gargled with my Lydia Pinkham.

• Maude Findlay : Honey, would you hurry it up? Arthur's dropping by, and I invited Barry over for cocktails.

  Walter Findlay : [offstage]  Barry? Barry Witherspoon? Not Barry Witherspoon! You can't mean Barry Witherspoon, Maude! Not again, not again!

  Maude Findlay : I knew you'd be pleased.

  Walter Findlay : That conceited, pompous windbag is coming over again tonight?

  Maude Findlay : Yeah, Arthur wants to meet him, he's read his book. Oh, but Vivian can't make it, she's gone to the dog show with her dog, Chuck.

  Walter Findlay : Since when does she enter Chuck in dog shows?

  Maude Findlay : She doesn't, dear. Chuck likes to watch. Leave it to Vivian to have a wire-haired voyeur.

  Walter Findlay : That's where I should go. I'd rather watch a bunch of dogs sitting and heeling than listen to Barry.

  Maude Findlay : Good idea, Walter. Maybe you'll learn how to roll over and play dead. I tell you, I'd get a lot more sleep that way.

• Walter Findlay : Maude, we are not having dinner with that guy tonight! I told you, I can't stand him! Guy gets some special pleasure reminding me that I didn't graduate high school, like last time in front of everybody, giving me that lecture on the difference between 'infer' and 'imply', as if I didn't know.

  Maude Findlay : Come on now, Walter, he just gets impatient with ninnies who constantly misuse those words.

  Maude Findlay : Are you inferring I'm a ninny?

  Maude Findlay : Of course not, sweetheart. I'm 'implying' you're a ninny; 'you' were inferring.