Mister Ed (TV Series)

Ed the Shish Kebab (1964)

Alan Young: Wilbur Post

Quotes 

• Wilbur Post : Now, let me think. What else could I put in that box?

  [Wilbur's face lights up and he looks directly at Mr. Ed] 

  Mister Ed : Forget it! You're not measuring me for any box.

  Wilbur Post : Of course, instead of swords, I'll use spears. I'll get a special box made.

  Mister Ed : Yeah, with six handles so they can carry me out.

  Wilbur Post : You'll be fine, Ed. This is the way it works: you get in the box, and I stick the spears through...

  Mister Ed : And there I am: shishkebob!

  Wilbur Post : You'll be all right. I'll hire a special carpenter to make the box, see? Everything down will be measured to the fraction of an inch. You'll be as safe as...

  Mister Ed : Sitting on a deck chair on the Titanic!

• Wilbur Post : Ed, don't you want me to beat Marty Bixby and win this magic contest?

  Mister Ed : No harpoons for me! My name is Mister Ed, not Moby Dick.

  Wilbur Post : Ed, didn't you tell me that you're dying to go to San Francisco?

  Mister Ed : When I said it, it was just a figure of speach.

• Wilbur Post : Ed, do you think I'd take a chance hurting you?

  Mister Ed : No.

  Wilbur Post : If I thought you'd get the slightest scratch, do you think I'd put you in that box?

  Mister Ed : No.

  Wilbur Post : So, will you do the trick for me tomorrow night?

  Mister Ed : NO!