- Grandpa: [to Igor the Bat] Quiet, stupid, you're not a bird. You're a mouse, who joined the Transylvania Air Corps.
- Lily Munster: [Grandpa is sowing a skirt for Marilyn] Oh, these remnants that Herman brings home from the lining room at the parlour make lovely pleated skirts.
- Marilyn Munster: And Grandpa, you're so good at sowing things together.
- Lily Munster: Well, with Herman in the family, you develop a knack for it.
- Lily Munster: There goes a fine husband.
- Marilyn Munster: There goes a fine father.
- Grandpa: There goes a nut if I've ever seen one.
- Grandpa: So far Herman has had him praticing at three events this morning, and he's gotten worse at each one.
- Lily Munster: Oh father, you make everything so clear and concise and logical. It's almost like having David Brinkley for a daddy.