- Herman Munster: [admiring the Drag-u-la] Those organ pipes are a very nice exhaust.
- Grandpa: I'll have you know, Herman, that this is the only dragster in America that can play 'Oh, promise me' in second gear.
- Lily Munster: You know, Eddie, I used to be a great racing fan back in Transylvania. Oh, I had such gay times going to the wolf tracks and betting on our family.
- Herman Munster: [Eddie is running around the room pretending to be a race car driver and speaking in racetrack lingo] Lily, I wish you'd keep the front door closed, some strange boy just got in here and is speaking some foreign language.
- Marilyn Munster: I don't know why uncle Herman wants to get become mixed up in racing.
- Lily Munster: You know Herman, he always has to be a hero to his son.
- Marilyn Munster: But I didn't know he knew anything about automobiles. He's really full of surprises.
- Lily Munster: Full of surprises? You should have seen his X-rays after his last physical. They're some things in there that the doctor's couldn't figure out at all.
- Herman Munster: Well, aren't you gonna wish me luck, Grandpa?
- Grandpa: [Grandpa waves his hand a little] Drop dead!
- Sandy Baylor: That's Eddie and his dad!
- 'Leadfoot' Baylor: Oh. Well, from the looks of his dad's face, he's been in some very bad smash ups.
- Grandpa: [reading the paper] Hmm, listen to this! It says, in the next three game series, the Yankees will be out for blood. I tell ya that's a lot more fun than playing baseball!
- Lily Munster: Herman, this is the worst thing you've done since you bought us that mausoleum at the cemetery, and we couldn't move in because there were no kitchen privileges.
- Herman Munster: How did I know it was a restricted community and they wouldn't take live people?
- Marilyn Munster: Grandpa, aren't you going to help uncle Herman and Eddie fix the car?
- Grandpa: No, I'm not gonna help uncle Herman and Eddie fix the car, and if anybody asks me why I'm not going to help, I'll tell them why I'm not going to help.
- Lily Munster: Well, why aren't you going to help?
- Grandpa: I'm not going to help, because nobody asked me to help!