- Grandpa: [Herman is talking to Dr. Dudley who has misplaced his glaces and is unaware of Grandpa's presence] Eh, doctor, could you answer a question?
- Dr. Edward Dudley: Well how do you like that, when I don't have my glasses on I hear double.
- Herman Munster: Eh, no, no, this is Grandpa.
- Dr. Edward Dudley: [slowly turns his head and tries to size up grandpa with his poor eyesight] Oh. Looks rather like a tall penguin, doesn't he?
- Lily Munster: Are you Diamond Jim?
- Diamond Jim: Yes, ma'm.How do you do?
- Lily Munster: I'm Mrs Munster.
- Diamond Jim: Oh.
- Lily Munster: I called here about an hour ago. Are you the one I talked to?
- Diamond Jim: Eh no, it, eh, must have been my brother, Diamond Irving.
- Lily Munster: I think I'll break the news to your uncle Herman gently. His birthday's coming up week and, eh, you know how he feels about strange people in the house.
- Marilyn Munster: Yes, you'd better tell him while he's in a good mood. We wouldn't want him to go all to pieces.
- Lily Munster: No, I know. It's such a nuisance putting him back together again.
- Herman Munster: [Herman and Lilly are resting on the balcony in the rain] We had weather just like this on our honeymoon, remember? What a beautiful spot that was, Devil's Island.
- Lily Munster: Too bad they closed it down. Seems like all the really nice resorts are gone.
- Mrs. Dudley: Marilyn is so sweet, what is her uncle like?
- Dr. Edward Dudley: I couldn't get him in focus too well without my specs. All I'm sure of is, he was nine feet tall and had a penguin with him that turned out to be his grandfather.
- Marilyn Munster: Uncle Herman's not around, is he?
- Lily Munster: No, he took Spotty down to the carwash for his weekly bath.
- Diamond Jim: Excuse me, lady, but were, were you ever in the movies?
- Lily Munster: Oh yes, just last Saturday night, we saw a lovely picture: The Body Snatchers.
- Eddie Munster: Was daddy playing poker all night with the men from the office?
- Lily Munster: No, dear.
- [Herman serves Lily breakfast]
- Eddie Munster: He must have done something pretty bad to be acting this mushy!
- Herman Munster: What I'm dying to know is: when. When the child is due. I mean approximately.
- Lily Munster: Approximately? I can tell you exactly. It's a boy, he'll arrive at nine o'clock tomorrow morning and his name is Elmer.
- [Herman is stunned]
- Grandpa Munster: Eddie, my boy, I want you to be a witness to my degradation. Cause someday you'll got creatures of your own; you'll know what to expect.
- Lily Munster: Herman, I don't want you going out. You already had a sinus attack today and you're not looking well. Uuu, you even got colors in your cheeks.
- Herman Munster: Really?
- Lily Munster: Why don't you go to your room?
- Grandpa Munster: Why should I? Any place I hang myself is home.