- Ralph: [having just come out of prison] It's nice to hug another man and it doesn't have to go anywhere.
- Randy: [Earl's ESL students show up] Look Earl! It's karma's army! Made up of people from all the lands of all the worlds!
- Earl: Randy was not stuck in a chimney, which is good, because it means he learned his lesson from the last two times.
- Joy: Earl, I don't care if she's Vietnamese, Chinese, or Chuck E. Cheese. She can't be learnin' English!
- [to client]
- Joy: Now, did you want me to paint the zodiac signs on your nails? I mean there's twelve, but, I can paint the extra two on your big toes.