Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)
The Touch of Satan (1998)
Beez McKeever: Steffi
Quotes
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Steffi : Almost finished storytime, then everyone goes to sleep.
Bobo : Uh, can I come out now?
Steffi : Shush! Bad dog! Go to sleep.
Bobo : Okay.
Steffi : Now where was I, Brian?
Observer : Oh, the tall fellow was repeatedly refusing to ingest green eggs and ham, the short fellow was bizarrely insistent upon it.
Steffi : Yes, very good. "I will not eat them in a plane. I will not eat them on a train..."
Observer : Train, right. Why doesn't he just leave him alone? He has pointedly made his refusal to eat this dish clear. The hypothetical changing of a location is irrelevant and tedious. And that Sam I Am is so bloody repetitive I could scream!
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Steffi : Are we a little cranky, Brian?
Observer : No, madam, I am over-tired. So I shall turn in now. So if you wouldn't mind, please... My blankie... My nookie... And my friend. Ah, thank you kindly. Good morrow to you.
Steffi : Nighty-night.
Bobo : Now me, I'd definitely eat them on a train...
Steffi : Quiet! No bark!
Bobo : ...There's no doubt they'd be perfectly delicious on a train. But a plane, I'd have to think about a plane. Maybe substitute bacon for ham sounds kinda nice. And maybe have a big...
[Steffi rolls up a magazine]
Bobo : Oh... Oh boy.
Steffi : [swatting Bobo] No bark!
Bobo : Ow! I'm not barking, I was just talking. Ow! I was commenting on the story. There was no barking involved at all!
Steffi : No! No bark!
Bobo : Ow! Ow! No, I'm not sure you see my point. Here, it's like this. Rather than barking, as you assumed, I was actually... Ow! C'mon! I'm talking, not...
Steffi : No!
Bobo : Ow! Ow!
Steffi : No bark!
Bobo : Ow! I'm not barking, I'm... Ow!
Steffi : Bad dog!
Bobo : I'm articulating... Ow! Geez! Ow!
Steffi : Bad dog!
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Bobo : You bet there's something wrong! The Lawgiver went on vacation and left us with... a babysitter. Look!
Steffi : Why won't you play with the blocks?
Observer : I don't want to play with blocks. It's insulting! I have an infinite intellect.
Steffi : I think you're a little crabby and you might need a time-out to think about it.
Observer : No, I can't stand time-outs. The silence! The desolation!
Steffi : Okay, are you going to play nice with the blocks?
Observer : Allright, Steffi. You win... this time.
Bobo : You see, it's horrible! And she calls me Fluffykins and treats me like an animal.
Steffi : Hey, did you chew this?
Bobo : Um... yes.
Steffi : No! No chew! No. God, man... There's hair everywhere!
Bobo : Please don't treat me like this. I'm a distinguished professor of anthropology from a future where apes evolved from men.
Steffi : No chew! Go lie down!
Bobo : Oh, Ok.