- Maxwell Sheffield: [about dating Leslie who looks like Fran] It's like ordering champagne but getting ginger ale, they look alike but they don't make you feel the same.
- Niles: [dragging C.C. into the parlour] Come, come.
- C.C. Babcock: Niles, what could be so damn important?
- [he points to Leslie and Fran]
- Fran, Leslie: [perfect unison] Hi!
- C.C. Babcock: Good God, it's multiplying!
- Fran: Say hello to bachelor number 3!
- Maxwell Sheffield: Oh, not you too!
- Fran: What?
- Maxwell Sheffield: I've been bombarded all morning with faxes and telephone calls.
- [showing Fran the faxes]
- Maxwell Sheffield: Women who want to date me, women who want to have my children, and this one wants to...
- Maxwell Sheffield: [everyone's shocked] Oh, good gosh!
- Niles: [taking the fax] I'll follow up on that one, sir.
- C.C. Babcock: [about Maxwell's relationship with Leslie] Well, I think it's very distasteful of Maxwell to be dating so soon. Isn't a decade the standard period of mourning?
- Niles: Die and let's find out.