- IRS Appeals Officer: George Burns.
- Fran Fine: Oh, great!
- IRS Appeals Officer: You know, I got into Heaven, and um, I saw God and He wasn't feeling well. He sneezed; well I didn't know what to say.
- IRS Appeals Officer: [excited to see Jay Leno] Jay Leno! Jay!
- [shaking hands]
- IRS Appeals Officer: Hey, I watch The Tonight Show all the time!
- Jay Leno: [nods] Great, great.
- IRS Appeals Officer: [to Jay, Fran and Max] Oh, oh, watch watch watch watch watch.
- [imitating Johnny Carson]
- IRS Appeals Officer: Ah, it was so cold in Los Angeles this morning...
- Maxwell Sheffield, Fran Fine: [appearing intrigued] how cold was it?
- IRS Appeals Officer: ...an exhibitionist came up to me in Wiltshire Boulevard, and described himself to me.
- Jay Leno: [sarcastically, patting him on the shoulder] Pal, don't quit the day job, all right?
- IRS Appeals Officer: [challenging Jay] Ever been audited?