- Dave Nelson: You're leaving the kids alone with us?
- Jimmy James: Yeah. I'm taking their teacher out to lunch to discuss educational imperatives for the 21st Century.
- Teacher: Ready to go, Jimmy?
- Jimmy James: You have no idea.
- Dave Nelson: Educational imperatives, eh, sir?
- Jimmy James: Well, in the immortal words of Van Halen before that idiot Sammy Haggar joined the group and ruined it, I'm hot for teacher.
- Matthew Brock: Hello, children. Welcome to the magical world of radio.
- Bill's Kid: Shut up, Spaz!
- Bill McNeal: That one's mine.
- [Kid runs in, trips and falls]
- Matthew Brock: And that one's mine.
- Dave Nelson: I'm sorry, Beth, but this is a boys-only meeting.
- Missy: Why?
- Matthew's Kid: Because girls are stupid.
- Matthew Brock: I did not teach him that.
- Matthew's Kid: Yes, you did.
- Beth: I think we know who our future congressman is.
- Jimmy James: How was everything in the bathroom?
- Rodney: There was a guy there who wanted money to open the faucet.
- Jimmy James: That's just the restroom attendant. Just ignore him.
- Teacher: Did you at least wash your hands?
- Rodney: No.
- Teacher: You should always wash your hands. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Cleanliness is very important in the business world, right, Mr. James?
- Jimmy James: Not really. Jimmy Buffet has nails like a coal miner.
- Lisa Miller: Dave doesn't have an inappropriate bone in his body.
- Lisa's Kid: Who? The little boy in the blue suit?
- Lisa Miller: Yes.
- Dave Nelson: Sir, I thought they'd be a little older.
- Jimmy James: Yeah, well, that's what I thought when I met you, Dave.
- Bill McNeal: What have you done to him?
- Teacher: I've educated him on proper behavior.
- Bill McNeal: Oh, really? We don't need your education; we don't need your thought control!
- Dave Nelson: Lose something, Bill?
- Bill McNeal: I'm just looking for coffee.
- Dave Nelson: Are you sure you're not looking for some erotic literature?
- Bill McNeal: Is that Canadian for porno mag?